Worldwide News” “SPIRITUAL FOOD AND THOUGHTS FOR LADIES!”

The Bible says,   “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee….whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart…”   (Hosea 3:6, 11)    I appreciate all of my readers and spammers because the Seeds of Faith are being planted within your hearts, souls, and minds. Whether or not you like it, all my Blogs are based on the WORD OF GOD. My commission is from the Lord and I am not a dooms day worker in the Lord’s Vineyard. I have style, charisma, and intelligence but I am no body’s fool. The things my Mammy taught me worked for her Mammy and her Mammy and her Mammy because these lessons were Scripturally based on the WORD OF GOD.   In other words, GOD’S WORD is right yesterday, today, and forever.

BRING IT DOWN ON HOME:

So, lets get down to business. Like some of you ladies, I visit different nail shops for pedicures and I listen to the women talking about their lives. You know Constance, she has to speak whatever the Lord tells her.

When you are looking for a husband, you must be Biblically correct and wise.  You cannot win over a man playing “Pony Express [humping] and/or playing a sexual kitty-cat and/or a whore.”  

GOD said, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge because thou has rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee…seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children. As they were increased, so they sinned against me: therefore will I change their glory into shame…they set their heart on their iniquity…I will punish them for their ways and reward them their doings…they shall eat and not have enough…they shall commit whoredom and shall not increase…because they have left off to take heed to the Lord. Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart.”  (Hosea 4:6-11)

No matter what you think, a man wants a woman who is hard to get. There are too many women throwing themselves and exposing their bodies to men –  markings on the skin, panty lines showing, buttocks hanging beneath daisy duke shorts, mini-skirts (exposing rolls of cellulite), pierced tongues and belly buttons, etc.  PLEASE, try to cover up some of that stuff and try not to give free sight-seeing tours because you get nothing in return – not even a nickel. Why? Unless the man has lusty (one night)thoughts for you, he will not ask for your phone number because there is no reason because he already had a free peak show while standing in the back of you at the grocery store! He checked your backside up and down and round and round!  He figured if he got a free-view, so did many other guys!  A real man wants his main squeeze to himself. 

Here are a few drops of  “SPIRITUAL FOOD AND THOUGHTS FOR THE LADIES!”   Use a little trickery (trick questions) to search your intended’s or husband’s true inner thoughts. Now play like “you are dumb” and make him believe the questions you ask are truly your inner thoughts – but we all know this is not true:

(1)   Say, I think a woman should be sexy all the time like Jessica Simpson, don’t you?  If he says, “Yes” – you don’t want him because in ten (10) years he will look like “roly poly” and still expect you to be a “sexy thang!”  I am not telling you to present yourself as an ugly-duckling. It is ok to be attractive and its wonderful for your husband to sexually desire his wife. 

(2)   Say, I think a woman should work a 9-5 job and give all her paycheck and money to her husband, don’t you?   If he says, “Yes” – you don’t want him because you are assuming he knows how to handle finances and he may not able to save as some men spend more money than women. If you work 20 to 40 hours per week, take harsh criticisms from irate supervisors and foul-speaking managers (including co-workers), sit on your fanny or stand on your feet at cash registers or whatever, you deserve the right to have your on personal bank account and pool your monies with his to pay bills.

(3)   Say, I think its OK to have a few odd balls and crazy relatives in the family, don’t you?   If he says, “Yes” – you should get out of town real fast and do not leave a forwarding address or phone number! If his family has a history of weird folks on the clothes line or tucked away in drawers, you need to know what type of blood is running through his veins. Make multiple and unannounced visits to his parents’ home. Don’t give them pre-warnings or heads-up so they can window dress for you. You need to see them as they really carry on. They may be living like the “Munster Family!” 

If there is a domineering mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, or uncle, you need to meet them. Use your intellect and trick questions (as the LORD gives them to you) to search their inner feelings about family relationships, marriage, children, religion, etc.  Again, you need to know what you are dealing with!

 (4)   Say, I think a woman should do all the cooking and cleaning, don’t you?   If he says, “Right!”   slap him silly like Samuel L. Jackson (the actor in “Snakes on a Plane”) because you are not his maid and butler! If there are two people living as man and wife, both have equal rights and responsibilities in the home (unless one is handicap).

If able, they should interchange with cooking and chores. If he is last to get out of the bed, he should make up the bed. If she starts the coffee, tea, and makes breakfast, he should set the table. If he cannot help, then, he can pour his own coffee and make his own breakfast. If he is lazy, then, you should do the following for yourself – fry one egg, two pieces of bacon, one piece of toast, pour one glass of juice, one cup of coffee or tea  just for you. I promise, he will come-a-running as he smells the aroma, but baby, breakfast is over and the kitchen is closed. Bye-bye now!

(5)   Say (while out on a date), I think a couple should eat out once a week and/or make it a date night, don’t you?  If he says, “No, that’s wasting money!”   You need to excuse yourself from the table, go to the ladies room, call a taxi, and sneak out the reastaurant’s back door. Here’s why! He is cheap and controlling! You don’t want a man who wants you to play the role, “Rapunzel – Let Down Your Hair”  (by the Brothers Grimm).

Some men want to hide you away from society and your family. Once they marry you, you are stuck in a terrible situation. Frankly, the thrill is gone and roly poly now looks like Humpty Dumpty and you are depressed (seemingly beyond repair but the LORD is a very present help in the times of trouble).  Everyday, Humpty Dumpty is stretched out on the sofa with a can of beer on the coffee table and you are bowing and bending like a paid slave and you get no thanks for your servitude – not even a thank you note.

(6)   Say, I think gardening is so much fun, don’t you?  If he says, “No” I want you to picture this – you will be the one planting the flowers, seeding the lawn, pushing the lawn mower, digging up weeds, watering the lawn and flowers, trimming the hedges, bagging up the cuttings, and swatting flies.    He will be sitting on the porch drinking sweet teas.

 (7)   Say, I like to take nightly bubble baths or showers before going to bed, don’t you?  If he says, “No, I take baths or showers twice a week –  you need to take a fast super sonic jet to another country away from him!  You’re about to settle down with stinky-winkie! He may be exaggerating about twice-a-week showers; instead, he may take showers every other week. Yet, he will expect you to be as tasty as a Krispy Kreme donnut and smelling fresh as a daisy. You will need a box of plug-ins for your nose because the scent may be a little pungent. He will expect you to do your wifely duty – may the force be with you or call on Ho Chi Min! A famous singer said, “What’s Love Got To Do With It!”

Need I say more? 

Have a Blessed Day!

 

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Worldwide News: “To all Prodigal Sons and Daughters – YOU CAN COME BACK HOME NOW!”

The Bible says, “And when he [the prodigal son] came to himself, he said, How many servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee…”   (Luke 15:17-18)

BRING IT DOWN ON HOME:

If you are reading this Blog, you must sit down on the couch or at the kitchen table to read this carefully! Many of you know this story and if you don’t here it is (paraphrasing)…

A certain rich man had two sons and for all we know they both worked very hard for their father. One day, the youngest son had an itch to leave the farm for the life in the big city. In other words, he was tired of going to bed late and getting up early to work in the fields as he wanted to party, see some wild girls, and drink a little beer! Yet, he was honest enough to ask permission of his father for a portion of goods which belonged to him (or rather the money he earned).

Notice, this young man was not dishonest and he seemed polite and determined to leave his father’s house. So, his father cashed in the young man’s chips and waved bye-bye. Later on (down-the-road), this green young man met up with some good time folks who were much smarter than he! Using his money, they took him for a whirlwind of fun and games. Un-be-known to the rich kid, he was the “hunted or cash-bull.” For many nights, this rich kid lived like a wild man partying night and day…laughing and joking…drinking and smoking it up!

Finally, the young man ran out-of-money and the party folks dropped him like a hot potato! Frankly, he ended up in the gutter, radgedly, smelly, and broke. GUESS WHAT? Nobody cared and no Salations Army Centers to help him recover! Not only were times hard for him, there was a “mighty famine” in the land – so everybody had hard times. One day, he found work as a farm hand feeding the pigs! But the owner of the field did not sit him down to eat at his kitchen table; instead, the owner of the field let this young man starve. It seemed the owner cared more for his farm animals than for humans! While feeding the swine,this young man was so hungry he ate the husks that he fed the swine! 

Like the prodigal son, all of the prodigal sons and daughters (including Constance) need to wake up and come to ourselves. There isn’t one person on this Earth without sin and the Word of GOD says, “…there is no big or little sin…and all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of GOD!”

A person can go to jail for stealing cars or for stealing bubble gum.  However, the sentence may be dismissed or reduced for first time offenders but the offence is still a sin.  A person can go to jail for manslaughter but if the guilty party asks forgiveness, the LORD GOD will grant it. However, the Laws of the Land will not forgive manslaughter unless it was self defense. Although the LORD GOD forgives, others (like the victim’s family) may never forgive and want the offender to be put to death. Yet, a man or woman on death row can get forgiveness from the LORD GOD and still receive just punishment under the Law.

In my previous Blog, I asked,    “WHO IS LIKE THEE, O LORD?”    Answer:   There is nobody like the LORD GOD WHO MADE HEAVEN, EARTH, AND THE UNIVERSE!   HE is loving, merciful, patient, forgiving, and a GOD of RECONCILIATION! 

Today, most young adults will either steal from their parents… or… they may take their parents check book and write out monies to themselves… or… they may take one of the family’s cars and cash-on-hand… or… they may just pack up and leave home without saying goodbye. Yet, many them [prodigal sons and daughters] burn and crash just as the rich man’son in Luke 15:17-21.

Don’t be afraid to admit guilt and shame. If your Earthly parents are deceased, your HEAVENLY FATHER is not! You can come back home to your HEAVENLY FATHER’S HOUSE!    The LORD GOD is waiting for all of us with HIS arms wide-open! The key is to come to yourself, to admit your sins,  and to ask the LORD GOD for forgiveness! 

Have a Blessed Day!

 

 

Worldwide News: “WHO IS LIKE THEE, O LORD?”

The Bible says, “There is none like Thee, O LORD;  Thou art great and Thy name is great in might. Who would not fear Thee, O KING of nations? For to Thee doth it appertain: forasmuch as among all the wise men of the nations and in all their kingdoms, there is none like unto Thee.” (Jeremiah 10:6-7)

BRING IT DOWN ON HOME:

The Prophet Jeremiah did not want to be called into the LORD’s service. Like Jeremiah, many of us make excuses, “O Lord, behold, I cannot speak for I am a child….”  (Jeremiah 1:6)   But, the LORD said,  “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb, I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”  (Jeremiah 1:3)  Honey, you cannot get away from the LORD GOD – so don’t even try! It is best to make an-about-face and go back to the old landmark where YOU left the LORD as HE is still waiting!

When you really think about the goodness of the LORD GOD, you cannot help but cry! Many of us should have been dead and buried a long time ago, but the LORD GOD saw fit to keep us clothed in our right minds and with reasonable health and strength! We may not be runners in the olympics, but we can still get about to do our daily chores.

Whether or not you admit it, the LORD kept you all night long as you slept while danger drove up and down your street, city, and state. The LORD GOD sent angels to watch over you and your family.  Yet, so many others died in their sleep and/or were called into judgment by some terrible force. When the enemy came, they didn’t see the demons or death coming for them. When disaster strikes, it comes swiftly like the impact of a tsunami which sweeps through the land and wipes out everything in its path. For many, there is no escape and yet for others the LORD GOD makes a way out of no way!

So, where is the safety zone and is there a place one can hide from the dEVIL? I’m glad you asked!      David wrote,

“The LORD is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou annointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD fore ever.”   (Psalm 23:16)

It is a most unfortunate thing to lose one’s soul and not to be under the Arch of Safety.  If the victim(s) are not saved and covered by the Blood of the Lamb, they may be eternally lost (providing, they are able to repent, confess their sins, and surrender their souls to the LORD). Perhaps, there may not be time to consciously surrender (admitting guilt, shame, and repentance) to the LORD because the victim may lose consciousness and expire.

GOD is a merciful, compassionate, forgiving, loving and “THERE IS NONE LIKE HIM!”  A special covering needs to be placed over the individual(s) who are not sure of their position(s) with the LORD GOD. The enemy may be whispering to you that your sins are too many for the LORD to forgive….the enemy may be telling you that it’s too late for you to admit your shame…the enemy may be telling you there is no forgiveness for the detestable things you’ve done…the enemy may be telling you there is no restitution for the lies and the filthy acts you’ve done unto others (and caused them to do)….BUT I’M TELLING YOU THERE IS HELP, HOPE. MERCY, and FORGIVENESS!

When others cannot forgive you, there is only ONE because,  “WHO IS LIKE THEE O LORD?”

Have a Blessed Day!